Reaching goals can be a frustrating adventure. Often we hit the same wall of limitation over and over again: not knowing why! Here are other things to consider:
1. You’re not expressing your true intentions as you move through the world
Who you are ‘being’, is what you embody in life. It is in essence, how you show-up in the world.
For example, Sue is ‘being’ rich and powerful. You can see it in her wealth and how people respond! Bob, on the other hand, is being an unremarkable dreamer. You can see it by the way he pontificates and yet, just sits on his arse.
2. You’re trapped in negative, black-and-white, dream-killing thinking
How we think drives us to do what we do, yet often goes unexamined. How do you think? Do you ever think about how you think?
For example, how do you think two thoughts would impact your mood, your beliefs, your words and your actions?
A. I don’t think I can have what I want in life. b. I want people to think I’m great, but I really don’t think I am.
3. You’re focused on the problem
What you focus on is what you will get! Your focus may very well be pulling you in the opposite direction of what you want.
For example, you may say you want a life of freedom, but instead, you are focused on how you are stuck.
4. You’re not willing to stand up for your goals
There’s a difference between dreaming about something and actually choosing to do it. Choosing is a declaration of your intention.
5. Your environment is stifling, blocking or working against your goals
Environment is very important to reaching our goals. It can either support our success or support our failures. What type of environment do you have in place, or need to put in place, that will support success?
E. g., I need to create a team that understands, is capable, and willing to work together to reach our mutual goals.
6. You’re not the person you pretend to be
Do you really know what you want? What you need? Are your goals and motivations a true reflection of your deepest desires? Or are they based on stale conclusions you made a long ago that are no longer true, yet you keep believing them?
E. g., Jim says: ” I want to have a successful business.” That’s what Jim wanted in high school. Now, however, he would be happier being a teacher. Instead, he focuses on trying to win his father’s love by being a lawyer.
7. You continue to prioritize the things that hold no meaning for you
We are meaning-creating machines. We’re always in search of meaning. What gives you meaning? Is it what you are doing, or trying to do? Or, is it something that you are NOT doing?
E. g., I want to help kids get through college. Or, I want to show the people I care about how much I love them, etc.
8. You assume that your negative thinking is the truth
It really doesn’t matter what happens in life. What matters is how you interpret what happens. Do you interpret things in a way that support your fears or your greatness?
For example, if you try out for the basketball team and don’t make it, which of these possible interpretations do you believe?
A. I’m not good enough. b. This might be a sign that I should really focus on more important things. c. Success rarely happens on the first try.
9. Your learning style conflicts with how you are trying to work at your goal
I can talk about these distinctions all day long, but if you don’t know how to incorporate them into your life, its value doesn’t matter. It only matters when you can use it. Knowing how you learn allows you to apply the learning system that best suits you.
Here are two examples:
A. Dan has a habit of trying to learn things all at once. He gets over whelmed, then stops out of frustration. Armed with this information, Dan could instead parse projects into small bit size chunks.
B. Sue can only take in just so much information at once. She finds it very helpful to actually have an experience in order to truly grasp something new.
10. You have not fully committed to your goal
What you’re committed to is evidenced by what you do. Being committed means choosing, focusing, and managing your thinking. It also means choosing the right goal for you — one that you love and are passionate about. It’s much harder to commit to something that is not what you want.
E. g., Robert, a former client and CEO of a small company that does about $10M in sales says that he knows how to increase the business to $40M, but won’t do what it takes because his heart is not in it. Making money no longer holds any meaning for him. Therefore, he doesn’t commit: even though he knows how to do it. This is where, “knowing thy self” becomes important.
“We have found the enemy and he is us” Walt Kelly